Developing yourself for yourself.
We generally look at self help as a way to be a better employee, parent, teacher, leader and so on. These are great topics and I will never be the one who will tell you to not develop those skills. However, we miss the mark a lot when it comes to self development because we are doing it for someone not to develop ourselves individually. Being a better parent is great, but that kiddo is going to be 18 eventually, being a better employee is phenomenal but eventually you will either switch jobs or retire. So the real question is what time are you spending on developing yourself for yourself? I am a huge fan of massive goals, I think picking the biggest dragon to slay is the generally the best idea, because it forces me to grow personally. When we set goals or expectations for our self development its easy when the outcome is for someone else simply because their core values are pretty much set so you have guidelines.
Kiddos need to be raised up to be productive effective humans. Employees need to be efficient and goal focused while following the core values and mission of the business. Because these are so obvious its easy to find a good book, teacher or website to help you develop those specific skills. Essentially they are laid right out in front of you. The skills and traits you need personally take a little pre work to develop, this is where we tend to fall off or lose attention. Because we are surrounded by so much noise and we see movie character's and larger than life hero's doing some awesome things, we admire their values and try to emulate them. Unfortunately we are not them so even if a few of their core values fit not all will. Knowing how to accurately state our core values can be somewhat of a daunting task if we are not huge on self reflection. It takes some serious openness and honesty to articulate these.
Standing firm on what want and need in your life is probably the most freeing thing you can do for your mind and soul, however it’s not easy because you will, without a doubt, shine light on things that you need to remove from your life. This is not something that I take lightly but I do know that you will, in the long run, be better off. So how do we find out what our core values are? Lets start with the movie stars, take an inventory of what we admire, what values and traits inspire us? Write those down and expand on what parts they are made of. If one of the words is courage, which was one of mine from all the action movies I grew up with, when I broke it down challenge, growth, development, travel, and so on came from that word. Pull apart the attributes and list words that resonate with you. After you have done that with several words, sit back and look at all of them as a whole, what repeats? What stands out? Challenge stood out 3 times for me. Trust, Growth, Travel, Fun, Passion all stood out to me. I have these listed as my core values.
Challenge, Trust, Growth, Travel, Fun and Passion. Each time you are faced with a decision you now have the great filter to throw the question up against. Does this challenge me? Do I trust the information I was given? Will I grow through by doing this? Will I get to travel? Have fun? Be passionate? If I answer yes to 5 of the 6 I will go for it. If its any less I start to question if it is worth it or not. Simply based on the fact that I know it will become a burden to me. I will feel the misalignment with my values quickly and it will soon drain my energy and intensity so I will be able to give less to the things I am in line with.
So to wrap this all up, finding your core values are simply the things that drive you. That get you excited and want to wake up each day, the things that don't grind on your soul like sandpaper on wood. Remember, life isn't about always grinding. You can achieve more quicker when you are in alignment with your values. You will be working harder and smarter when working with those core believes in tack and along side of your actions. I challenge you to spend the next few days journaling and find out out what your core values are. Trust me when I say this is life changing information.
